i collect cracks, 2020

i have no idea where to begin writing this text
it’s about relationality
about something i have partial words for
so it’s a challenging text to write.

it’s about place-and-space
about this particular knowing
that i can barely grasp through words
even though it’s right there
right here.

it’s about
looking at the strokes and steps i’ve taken all over
a lot of them in circles
seemingly going no where
they are the ones that have taught me the most.

i want to say without saying
a form of concrete ambiguity
concrete enough to resonate
ambiguous enough to resonate
just to connect
just to say my piece without the wear and tear.

labels (words) that are just that
and also, double edged knives
which can carve us
or ensure we have the space we couldn’t carve
or both.

i am going for both
and neither
in circles
counter flowing like an eddy in a river
with each loop
i get a partial-and-clear view
of what sets me back
to twirl some more.

i may lose pieces of myself
but i collect cracks
where the pieces of someone else land

we are made of each other.


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